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Fiction, Reading,

My Mind Alone

The mind: Sometimes the greatest enemy one can encounter in life.

I stare absently at my laptop computer screen. My writing program sits open, and yet I continue to study the blank screen. Blink after blink, the cursor taunts me, Write something important. Dazzle me with your artistic expertise.

It mocks me.

It’s 9:00am, and I’ve been sitting at my writing desk for nearly two hours.

The words I seek elude me, and I find myself distracted by my thoughts of her.

Natalie.

It’s been four days since Natalie left me via text message, and I’ve been unable to prevent myself from rereading the text every few minutes.

 

Mike,

There’s no easy way to write this, but I’m going to try to anyways.

I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry but it’s over!!

 

Her words had attacked me like a stranger in the night.

Lurking with malicious intent, Natalie’s premeditated act of violence upon my soul was catastrophic.

Her succinct and lack of explanation as to why it was over had destroyed me.

It had destroyed my world.

 

I just don’t understand.

My friends have told me to move on.

That she isn’t right for me.

That she treats me terribly.

That it’s her issues, not mine that ultimately deconstructed our partnership.

I refuse to believe their lies…

 

I remove myself from the desk and walk to the couch where I fall face first atop the cushioned seats.

If I go to sleep, the voices in my head haunting me may dissipate for a few hours.

My eyes close and I drift away from reality.

 

Upon waking at 11:11am, my mind immediately retreats back to Natalie.

I pick up my iPhone, and scroll through every one of our messages.

Yet again.

I can’t help it.

As if attempting to decrypt some sort of secret meaning from it, I analyze each and every word in my head over and over until I border on insanity.

This is how my mind works. I’m an over thinker with a penchant of analysing every single moment of an event.

I tend to drive myself crazy, at times.

Analyze it from this perspective and then analyze it from that perspective, and so on… and so on.

I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend but did I really deserve this?

I grit my teeth.

My mind begins to drift…

 

As a professional writer, I have a set schedule I live by.

I tend to write from 7am until 3pm, Monday to Friday.

This schedule has allowed me to publish four novels so far, and I was currently working on a fifth.

But there would be no writing today.

Though my thoughts weren’t getting me anywhere, I couldn’t prevent my mind from dwelling on every single aspect of the relationship between Natalie and myself.

Good or bad, I would continue to rehash the same moment over and over again without any solid discernment.

All of the regrets, all of the moments where I should’ve done or said (or not done or said) something but didn’t (or did) were flooding back to me.

What I could’ve done better.

And the big one…how this entire breakup was my fault.

I was driving myself mad.

And I had to do something to get my mind off of her.

 

I had attempted to see her one last time.

I had confronted her outside of her apartment, but she refused to speak to me. She simply brushed me aside and walked away from me.

I had wanted to follow her…

 

Following the implosion of our relationship, I had removed myself from society.

I left my apartment in the big city and relocated to a cabin I had rented (without having to use a credit card, which was a nice perk) up north.

It was March, so it wasn’t too difficult to track down a decent dwelling.

I had been here for the past three days.

Isolated, the cabin was situated in a dense forest containing monstrous pine trees that yearned to scrape the heavens above.

The front of the cottage contained a small yard and a stone driveway situated off to the right side of it. The rear of it backed onto Hemingway Lake, a small body of water defined by its rich blueness.

It was the only man-made structure located on the shores of the lake.

For the past three days, I hadn’t encountered another living soul out here.

It’s as if I was the last human being on earth, and I liked that…

 

THE REST OF THE STORY CAN BE FOUND HERE;

 

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Film,

Stranger (Complete Film)

‘Stranger’ is the short film based on my recently published short story entitled ‘A Stranger Among Us’.

 

In June 2015, ‘Stranger’ had its World Premiere Screening at the Niagara Integrated Film Festival

 

Synopsis:

A stranger observes the home of David and Janine from across the street. Bathed in darkness, the man makes no movements. He simply watches.

Beset by a dark secret long kept dormant, David and Janine’s seemingly happy marriage will be tested by this stranger.

But by confronting their past, this enigmatic watcher may be the least of their concerns.

 

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Music Reviews,

Edwyn Collins – Losing Sleep

Album: Losing Sleep

Label: Heavenly Records

Rating:  3.5/5

 

It’s amazing that singer Collins can speak, let alone release a new LP. In 2005, Collins suffered two cerebral hemorrhages that forced him to undergo neurological rehabilitation. Astonishingly through sheer perseverance and dedication, Edwyn wrote and recorded Losing Sleep while still recovering. The result is his most profound and personal piece in his 35 year career.

Propelled heavily by electric guitar driven pop-esque sonics, Losing Sleep is an honest and emotional journey into the soul of a man ravaged by fate. Deviating its time between heartfelt retrospection and melancholic tenderness, the album is a humbling attempt at coming to grips with present-day realities unforeseen in the recent past.

Though, at times, it does have the tendency to slip into a stream of tedious redundancy as a result of overly simplistic lyricism and sound, the album never sinks into parody or self-pity.

It is instead the work of a man struggling to regain a sense of himself in a world now foreign to him. Such songs as “Losing Sleep”, “What is My Role” and “Searching for the Truth” rely heavily on literal, rather than metaphorical, modes of expression to justify Collins’ continued existence on this planet.

Though the album greatly concerns itself with deep philosophical questions, Losing Sleep is also a highly romantic ode to the nature of love. “In Your Eyes” and “I Still Believe in You” are highly symbolic of Collins finally coming to terms with what is truly important in his own personal world.

Masked by its simplicity, the album is instead a highly reflective journey into Edwyn Collins’ recovering soul.

 

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Music Reviews,

Biffy Clyro – Only Revolutions

Album: Only Revolutions

Label:  14th Floor

Rating: 3.5/5

 

Biffy Clyro’s Only Revolutions is probably their most radio friendly album to date. Filled with massive choruses and bold, soaring guitars, the album proudly embraces a multitude of sound. Though the lyrics are enigmatically bizarre at times, Only Revolutions becomes an intense personal memoir from the band.

The album largely concerns itself with the trials and tribulations inherent with the ideas of love, loss and the evolution of relationships.  Fuelled by heartfelt and honest intentions, the album incorporates many classic elements of rock into its sound.

The most impressive aspect of the LP is its diversity of character. “God and Satan” and “Many of Horror” (an arena rock ballad for sure) are melancholic in structure and tone, while “Booooom, Blast and Ruin” and “Cloud of Stink” are aggressive, piercing rock epics.

As if sparring with himself, singer Simon Neil’s vocalisation relishes confliction. His singing borders on moments of painful anguish that, at times, intersects defiantly with jubilant desire. It is this delicate balance of contrasting emotional depth that propels the record beyond any sense of predictability.

Though it is marred by some unmemorable tracks, the album still resonates as a solid contender in a world full of rock pretenders.

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Music Reviews,

The Aggrolites – Rugged Road

Album: Rugged Road

Label: Stomp Records

Rating: 3.5/5

 

With their fifth studio album, The Aggrolites have created a medley of blissful tranquility. Though it is hardly a mind blowing experience, Rugged Road is punctuated by absorbing Caribbean and Calypso rhythmic tones that hypnotically transport the listener to another time and place.

Known for their heavy reliance on ska and reggae sounds, The Aggrolites (from Los Angeles) have previously stated that their goal is to increase awareness of Reggae music to show (Americans especially) that there’s a whole lot more to Jamaican music than Bob Marley, ganja, and growing dreadlocks.

The one aspect that instantly strikes the listener is the lack of vocalisation found on the album. In fact, there are very few songs that actually incorporate any lyrics at all. Instead, the album is filled with up-tempo, soothing instrumentation that is clearly inspired by 1960s Jamaican Ska.

One of the few songs that actually does include lyricism is “The Aggro Band Plays On” (the standout track on the album). After being swayed away by the soothing sounds on “Enemy Dub”, “Dreamin on Erie” and “Eye of Obarbas, the album energetically awakens with this ‘funkified’ journey into the soul of Reggae. Wisely placed midway through the LP, the track perfectly bridges what has come before it and what has yet to come.

With this being said, it’s fair to say that Rugged Road plays it safe. There isn’t really anything that is too daring on the album, and at times, there are concerns that the album will sink into sonic redundancy. But it’s a relatively short album, and this saves it from itself. By knowing when to quit, the listener is left wanting more rather than dreaming of when it will end.

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Music Reviews,

Travis Barker – Give the Drummer Some

Album: Give the Drummer Some

Label: Interscope/LaSalle

Rating: 3/5

 

It would pay to know Travis Barker, because if you did you more than likely would have appeared on his debut album Give the Drummer Some.  Everyone else he knows surely did. The LP contains more guests than a 24 hour telethon.

Though it is populated by such acquaintances as Snoop Dogg, Pharrell Williams, Ludacris, Cypress Hill, RZA and The Transplants, the true driving force behind the album is the unorthodox, but nonetheless enticing playing style of Barker as he masterfully pounds away at his set.

Barker’s drumming has always been highly identifiable, and through his time with numerous bands like Blink 182, Box Car Racer, The Transplants, and +44 (to name just a few), he has continued to personalize it.

Give the Drummer Some largely concerns itself with elements of rap rock, and since Barker has been infusing components of traditional rock with previously released hip hop songs for years, it seems sensible to release a full-length album of him officially doing it.

Most of the tracks found on the album are bouncy and spirited trips (“If U Want To” is a standout) that are enunciated, at times, by witty lyricisms and striking guitars performed by guests Tom Morello and Slash on “Carry It” and “Saturday Night”, respectively.

However, as much as the album prides itself on its sonic excesses, the album does seem to suffer from a sense of that ‘been there, done that’ syndrome.  As entertaining and diverse as it strives to be, the album does slip into a pattern of redundancy after awhile and eventually becomes reliant on clichéd lyrics that one has come to associate with the hip hop genre.

Though it’s not instantly forgettable, Give the Drummer Some is hardly groundbreaking

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Music Reviews,

Freedom or Death- Envy

Album: Envy

Label: Independent

Rating: 3.5/5

 

“We want to have the freedom to make the music and the artistic choices that we want. If we can’t have that freedom, we’d rather not put anything out, which is the death of our art”. Insightful and striking, the motto of Freedom or Death is a telling tale of the musical creed of this band.

With their second EP Envy, the Toronto duo, Steve Fernandez and Sway Clarke, passionately deliver an eclectic arrangement of hip-hop, electronica and rock throughout the course of 7 tracks.  While sparse in length, the album’s songs are obese with style and sound.

Though thematically aloof at times, Envy is a rich collection of sonic ingenuity that dares to be different. The album’s standout song, “Virginia Woolf”, intercuts confrontational verbal sound bites from the 1966 film ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’ with energetic moments of k-os-inspired musicality.  While “Inside” summons the essence of Kanye West’s “Love Lockdown”, but independently identifies itself through interjecting moments of sensual vocalization, rhythmic guitars, and funky backbeats that seductively enthral the listener’s ears.

It’s a refreshing approach since the sounds incorporated are not simply being used for egotistical intentions, but rather for artistic expression.

Not without its flaws, Envy still remains an uncontaminated, truthful expression of the heart.

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Music Reviews,

The Sounds – Something To Die For

Album: Something To Die For

Label: Warner/SideOneDummy

Rating:  4/5

 

It’s difficult not to respect The Sounds. A hybrid of musical imagination, the band effortlessly incorporates aspects of indie rock, post punk, new wave and Europop into their act.

Something to Die For is the band’s fourth album, and for the most part should please hardcore fans. Brimming with exceptional production values, the album is a funky, hip-swaggering delight that recalls aspects of early 80s UK synth-pop.

Though not all songs can be categorized as ‘timeless’, the overall appreciation of the album does intensify with each additional listen. “Dance with the Devil” is sure to be a hit with club goers for its seductive treat of tasty pop hooks that swirl with unbridled new wave synthesized sound.  While “Something to Die For” is the catchiest of all with its instantly memorable fusion of cheesy, bubbly beats with hypnotically enticing vocalization by Maja Ivarsson.

It’s fair to say that many will misunderstand this album. Most will write it off as an LP that has little to no substance due to its infatuation with simulated sounds. However, it is more than simply an energetic listening experience. Disguised by its mainstream accessibility, Something to Die For is an album that tells a heartfelt story of love and loss. Buried beneath a body of sound, the album is actually a penetrating journey into the sorrowful nature of the soul.