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The Rock n’ Roll Cliché: A 6-Step Program

by mikepetersJune 5, 2012
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If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I am quite intrigued with the idea of the rock star. My captivation is not solely fixated on the music, however, but on the lifestyle personified by the musicians. Their carefree rebelliousness fascinates me to no ends. I am a mesmerized child merely watching the show that is the rock star life.

 

However, I have noticed a trend within rock stardom that now borders on cliché. After watching many hours of VH1’s Behind the Music, and by reading countless musical autobiographies, I have come to the conclusion that a rock star’s life follows a traditional path. Let me illustrate my 6 points.

 

A Dream- Every child has a dream of becoming a rock n’ roll star. This is why I air-band.

 

A Struggle to Succeed- I will do anything I can to get to where I want to be. I will play your high school prom because one of the student’s third cousins cleans toilets at EMI. Please take my Demo tape. Yours truly, Garth.

 

Success- Got signed and now I’m opening for Soul Decision…Jealous?

 

Excess- Let the party begin. Drugs, alcohol, money, women, STD’S.

 

The Fall- I knew hanging out with Scott Weiland was a bad idea.

 

Redemption or Death- I’m out of rehab, and have returned with a successful album thus allowing me to come full circle. Or I have died from my addiction.

 

These 6 steps mark the trajectory of a rock star’s career. Well, the one’s we seem to care about. Here are just some of the musicians that have ended the 6 step program with redemption: (In no particular order)

 

Anthony Kiedis, Scott Weiland, Slash, Courtney Love, Keith Richards, Eminem, Johnny Cash, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine, Eric Clapton, and Motley Crue.

Here are just some of the musicians that ended the 6 step program with death: (In no particular order) Elvis Presley, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Shannon Hoon, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Keith Moon, John Bonham, Rick James.

 

It’s as simple as this.

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