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Blog,

My Life is 2 Hours Long!

by mikepetersJune 5, 2012
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What if my life were to exist within a film narrative? I’m not talking about any sort of avant-garde film, but rather a classic Hollywood structured screenplay. Wouldn’t life be so much simpler?

 

I mean, for the first half hour, everything will be sweet and dandy. I will have a loving family, a great job, a sweet car, etc. In other words, life will be perfect.

 

But hold on, after all that, trouble will begin to brew. A great conflict will arise, and everything I once took for granted will now be placed in jeopardy. I will be fired or suspended from my job, my car will be blown up, and my wife will disappear. I will not know where to begin, but then I’ll receive some sort of cryptic message (from a worthy adversary who I have wronged in the past-that’s a good thing because I was a cop)) filling me in on what I need to do to regain my once perfect world. The steps I will need to take will now challenge me mentally and physically. I will now be racing against time, except that I will continue to run into unforeseen problems. As a result, I will (temporarily) be unable to overcome the obstacles that threaten my once untouchable utopia.

 

And then eventually, after about an hour and a half, I will be faced with the ultimate decision that will all but decide my fate. I will either quit because I don’t have what it takes, or I will persevere and prove to myself and everyone else that I am the hero you all believe in. That I am capable of being all that I can be. I decide to go the hero route.

 

Finally, we arrive at the final half hour. This is where I confront my arch enemy who is attempting to rob me of my joy and happiness. His goons are no match for me. I get rid of them with relative ease. It is now me and some non-North American villain. But wait, my wife miraculously reappears. She is being held hostage by this international scum. There is a bomb strapped to her. I grimace and proceed to make dire threats to him. He does the same to me. We battle, but it cannot be a long battle because the bomb strapped to my wife will explode in 33 seconds. I dispose of him, race to my wife, and deactivate the bomb (that not only would have destroyed her, but as well the entire city).

 

My wife and I walk out of the building holding hands. The sun is setting. I turn to her, she turns to me. We romantically embrace with the sunlight romanticizing the moment. I have saved the day. I have reclaimed my dignity. I am a man. I have learned much of myself, and will move forward with this new found knowledge.

 

My life has taken 2 hours to complete. Life is once again good. There will no longer be any conflict. (Unless my story makes over $100 million, and then a sequel is a must).And this my friends is the typical outline for a Hollywood Action feature film.

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Christmas Angst

June 5, 2012
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What’s Your Soundtrack?

June 5, 2012

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