A stranger observes the home of David and Janine from across the street. Bathed in darkness, the man makes no movements…he simply watches.
Beset by a dark secret long kept dormant, David and Janine’s seemingly happy marriage will be tested by this stranger.
But by confronting their past, this enigmatic watcher may be the least of their concerns.
Mike’s girlfriend has recently dumped him. Lost and confused, he sets off on a journey up north to leave his life behind.
Renting a cabin located in isolation, the battle with his manipulative and destructive thoughts will soon commence.
You can run from everything, but can you run from yourself?
The mind: Sometimes the greatest enemy one can encounter in life.
I stare absently at my laptop computer screen. My writing program sits open, and yet I continue to study the blank screen. Blink after blink, the cursor taunts me, Write something important. Dazzle me with your artistic expertise.
It mocks me.
It’s 9:00am, and I’ve been sitting at my writing desk for nearly two hours.
The words I seek elude me, and I find myself distracted by my thoughts of her.
Natalie.
It’s been four days since Natalie left me via text message, and I’ve been unable to prevent myself from rereading the text every few minutes.
Mike,
There’s no easy way to write this, but I’m going to try to anyways.
I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry but it’s over!!
Her words had attacked me like a stranger in the night.
Lurking with malicious intent, Natalie’s premeditated act of violence upon my soul was catastrophic.
Her succinct and lack of explanation as to why it was over had destroyed me.
It had destroyed my world.
I just don’t understand.
My friends have told me to move on.
That she isn’t right for me.
That she treats me terribly.
That it’s her issues, not mine that ultimately deconstructed our partnership.
I refuse to believe their lies…
I remove myself from the desk and walk to the couch where I fall face first atop the cushioned seats.
If I go to sleep, the voices in my head haunting me may dissipate for a few hours.
My eyes close and I drift away from reality.
Upon waking at 11:11am, my mind immediately retreats back to Natalie.
I pick up my iPhone, and scroll through every one of our messages.
Yet again.
I can’t help it.
As if attempting to decrypt some sort of secret meaning from it, I analyze each and every word in my head over and over until I border on insanity.
This is how my mind works. I’m an over thinker with a penchant of analysing every single moment of an event.
I tend to drive myself crazy, at times.
Analyze it from this perspective and then analyze it from that perspective, and so on… and so on.
I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend but did I really deserve this?
I grit my teeth.
My mind begins to drift…
As a professional writer, I have a set schedule I live by.
I tend to write from 7am until 3pm, Monday to Friday.
This schedule has allowed me to publish four novels so far, and I was currently working on a fifth.
But there would be no writing today.
Though my thoughts weren’t getting me anywhere, I couldn’t prevent my mind from dwelling on every single aspect of the relationship between Natalie and myself.
Good or bad, I would continue to rehash the same moment over and over again without any solid discernment.
All of the regrets, all of the moments where I should’ve done or said (or not done or said) something but didn’t (or did) were flooding back to me.
What I could’ve done better.
And the big one…how this entire breakup was my fault.
I was driving myself mad.
And I had to do something to get my mind off of her.
I had attempted to see her one last time.
I had confronted her outside of her apartment, but she refused to speak to me. She simply brushed me aside and walked away from me.
I had wanted to follow her…
Following the implosion of our relationship, I had removed myself from society.
I left my apartment in the big city and relocated to a cabin I had rented (without having to use a credit card, which was a nice perk) up north.
It was March, so it wasn’t too difficult to track down a decent dwelling.
I had been here for the past three days.
Isolated, the cabin was situated in a dense forest containing monstrous pine trees that yearned to scrape the heavens above.
The front of the cottage contained a small yard and a stone driveway situated off to the right side of it. The rear of it backed onto Hemingway Lake, a small body of water defined by its rich blueness.
It was the only man-made structure located on the shores of the lake.
For the past three days, I hadn’t encountered another living soul out here.
It’s as if I was the last human being on earth, and I liked that…
THE REST OF THE STORY CAN BE FOUND HERE;
‘Stranger’ is the short film based on my recently published short story entitled ‘A Stranger Among Us’.
In June 2015, ‘Stranger’ had its World Premiere Screening at the Niagara Integrated Film Festival
Synopsis:
A stranger observes the home of David and Janine from across the street. Bathed in darkness, the man makes no movements. He simply watches.
Beset by a dark secret long kept dormant, David and Janine’s seemingly happy marriage will be tested by this stranger.
But by confronting their past, this enigmatic watcher may be the least of their concerns.
When Radiohead released In Rainbows in 2007, the band made the decision to distribute the album through download for whatever price the consumer decided upon.
It was a decision that rocked a music industry already ravaged by the onslaught of digital downloading.
Was Radiohead constructing a new method of how music was to be received in the digital era?
It was a choice that perplexed many but intrigued others.
But here’s the issue, would Radiohead have attempted this experiment if it had been their debut album?
Considering this was their seventh album, Radiohead had the financial security to experiment with the original blueprint of how music could be released and digested.
In essence, Radiohead was a mainstream success already, so how much actual risk was involved with the experiment?
In fact, this idea was brilliant in its marketing tactics, and probably gained the band extra (financial?) incentives as a result of all the publicity garnered around their decision. What better way to conjure up attention for an upcoming album release than to announce that you are distributing it in an entirely new and innovative way.
The idea alone was enough to create a full-blown buzz within the industry, and Radiohead took full advantage of it.
They seem to comprehend how the traditional marketing wheel spins.
The Smashing Pumpkins
As innovative as Radiohead’s approach was to releasing In Rainbows, it should be noted that The Smashing Pumpkins released their sixth studio album, Machina II/The Friends & Enemies of Modern Music back in September of 2000 (7 years before In Rainbows) as a free download.
Though it wasn’t a great success at the time (which may be why it tends to get forgotten), it may be the first example of a band using the internet as a way of marketing and releasing an album without the benefit and support of a record label.
In fact, the main reason why The Pumpkins released the album online for free (through Corgan’s own label) was because their previous record label was not exactly eager to release it as a result of the band’s recent lack of album success (Adore, The Machina/The Machines of God).
In an interview with Ultimate Guitar in 2010, Corgan was asked if he knew how impactful this decision was to be over the coming years. Corgan responded with, “Not really. At the time I saw it as a one-time thing. I never thought we would see a near collapse of the music business and its dominant control on how music reaches people”.
This model was definitely popularized by Radiohead, but it seems that Corgan was beginning to understand the capabilities of what the internet could do…Even back in 2000.
A stranger observes the home of David and Janine from across the street. Bathed in darkness, the man makes no movements…he simply watches.
Beset by a dark secret long kept dormant, David and Janine’s seemingly happy marriage will be tested by this stranger.
But by confronting their past, this enigmatic watcher may be the least of their concerns.
The short story is currently available at Amazon, iTunes, Barnes& Noble, and many other eBook-related sites.
This story was recently adapted into a short film, and here is the teaser trailer.
http://vimeo.com/110153984
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. Nothing hits as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you’re hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Rocky Balboa
Whether it’s a jab, a sucker punch or a blinding knockout blow, life can have a masochistic sense of personality when distributing its challenges to humanity.
It maintains an heir of indifference, and unapologetically scatters people’s lives about as if they were contents of a jigsaw puzzle.
But one must remember that life’s a journey…not a destination, and that it’s crucial to resist the will to wave that white flag, no matter how bleak it can appear at times.
The following individuals have all encountered divergent obstacles in life, but yet are linked together through the nature of their enduring spirits. Faith, hope, and perseverance help to define who they are, and have greatly assisted in guiding them on their roads to recovery.
Through the support of family, friends and even strangers, these combatants have rallied against life’s greatest attacks, and have made a stand of their own.
There is a drive within them to battle…to overcome…to succeed.
Life will not get the best of them.
Greg Bailey
To say Greg Bailey is passionate about life would be an understatement. A man brimming with unbridled zealousness, Bailey’s positivity continues to resonate despite his July 1995 diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease, a degenerative neurological illness that impedes motor functionality.
“It was the day before my 44th birthday, and the news absolutely devastated me” recounts Bailey with tinges of sorrow clouding his eyes.
The reaction is not uncommon to individuals who have been diagnosed with the disease. One of the key emotional symptoms of Parkinson’s is depression and anxiety.
For nearly thirteen years, Greg’s body deteriorated at an alarming rate. Inflicted by body tremors, impaired balance and the decreasing ability to perform common bodily movements, Greg, with his wife Babette and two children, Dayna and Alexander, all agreed that the most plausible way to combat the attack against his body would be to undergo Deep Brain Stimulation (DSS) surgery.
Approved by the Food and Drug Administration in 2002 as a productive method of treating Parkinson’s, DSS involves implantation of electrodes within particular areas of your brain. These electrodes produce electrical impulses that regulate irregular impulses. The amount of stimulation in Deep Brain Stimulation is controlled by a pacemaker-like device positioned under the skin in your upper chest (it is replaced every 4-5 years). A wire that travels under your skin connects this device to the electrodes in your brain.
It is a surgery that comes with great risk. But to Greg (a former pilot for Niagara Helicopters), the opportunity to possibly reclaim the stolen aspects of his life was well worth that risk.
So, in April of 2007, Greg underwent the surgery, and within a month, positive results were presenting themselves. In fact, his story was so compelling that CogecoTV documented Greg’s pre-and-post surgery with a TV special dedicated to him entitled One Man’s Journey.
To watch the feature is to fully comprehend where Greg once was, and where he is presently.
At the moment, there is no cure for Parkinson’s Disease, and Greg is still physically accosted by it. But to meet him now, one may find difficulty in specifically labelling him with the disease.
Apart from his physical improvements, his emotional and mental states have also been vastly upgraded.
“I could feel down all the time, but I choose not to live like that. I strive to remain positive, and to never give up. In the morning when I wake up, I tell myself I’m going to have a good day…and I work towards that”.
In striving towards that, Greg is using his experience with the disease to help mentor those newly diagnosed with it. When provided the opportunity, Greg makes himself available to those willing to discuss the feelings he experienced nearly twenty years ago, and still sometimes struggles with today. He makes regular appearances at Parkinson’s charity events, and is readily active in the fight against it.
To many, he is considered a model of inspiration because of his unwavering selflessness.
But to Greg, he’s just a regular guy.
“I don’t see myself as an influential person. I’m simply someone who enjoys assisting others on how to cope with Parkinson’s, and how important it is to always remain positive.”
Lana Hill
Kelsey Hill believed that it was better to give than it was to receive.
The compassionate and outgoing eleven-year old from Stevensville had always been a fervent believer in the importance of philanthropic endeavours. Even as she was earning the honour of being selected as Valedictorian of her Grade 6 class, Kelsey continued to remain a steadfast supporter of charitable causes, selfless in her actions to assist others in need.
When she participated in a walk-a-thon at her school (Stevensville Public School) to help raise funds for the Ronald McDonald House, Kelsey had been the top earner.
But in September 2010, Kelsey and her family’s lives were forever altered when it was discovered that Kelsey was suffering from a Supratentorial Primitive Neuroectodermal Tumour, a rare and aggressive form of brain tumour.
Following her diagnosis, Kelsey underwent three brain surgeries. One of which resulted in the left side of her body becoming paralyzed, ultimately leaving her wheelchair dependent.
She underwent thirty-one daily radiation treatments to her brain and spine, which was then succeeded by six months of aggressive chemotherapy.
But Kelsey’s hope never faltered, and a smile brimming with the fearlessness of an innocent child continued to permeate her face each and every day.
“She was always happy, and would be the one comforting us when we should have been the ones comforting her”, says Kelsey’s mom, Lana Hill. “She was strong as a rock. She would never give up, no matter how difficult it became for her”.
Though the amount of medical procedures Kelsey would undergo each day could be overwhelming both emotionally and physically, she never lost her drive to assist others. And in 2011, still battling for her life, she created Team Kelsey, a foundation dedicated to raising awareness of childhood cancer, and to assist children already affected by it.
Kelsey’s biggest wish was simply to live in a world where children could live without fear of a shortened life…a world without cancer. And this is what Team Kelsey continues to fight for, even after Kelsey’s passing in December of 2011 at the age of 13.
“She was our role model, and we wanted to continue her legacy”, notes Lana. “People were so inspired by her because all she wanted to do was to help others, and that, in turn, inspired us. There are so many families battling through situations like these, and we feel it is important to continue to raise money for these charities”.
In just two years, Team Kelsey has raised nearly $90,000 for charities that include Ronald McDonald House Hamilton (RMHH), McMaster Stem Cell and Cancer Research Institute, and families affected by childhood cancer.
As a result of their continuing charitable efforts for RMHH, the children’s underwater themed playroom and a wheelchair accessible bedroom were named in Kelsey’s honour.
Team Kelsey has had strong support from the community, and as a result have had many parents/volunteers donate their time to the fundraisers held by the foundation like a blood donor clinic (to honour childhood cancer survivors and those who’ve lost the fight) and the Kelsey Hill Memorial Pasta Dinner Fundraiser.
“Losing Kelsey was a tremendous tragedy for our family”, says Lana. “But we are doing our best to turn this negative into some sort of positive because that’s what she would have wanted. Her spirit and legacy are very much alive, and they continue to direct us everyday”.
Jordan Scott
At the age of twenty-two, Jordan Scott has experienced the dark realities of this world.
“My father was addicted to crack cocaine and alcohol. One year, when I was twelve, my dad blew all of the Christmas money on drugs. It wasn’t long after that that we lost our car and house because of his addictions.”
Jordan’s father entered rehab, and exited a changed man.
He had quit drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, and was introduced to members of the community who would help guide him on his road to redemption.
It was during this transitional time period that Jordan’s mother and father became extremely controlling of her life. Never one to partake in the “extracurricular activities” of adolescent curiosity, Jordan’s life was, nevertheless, under the scrutiny of her parents’ watchful eyes and vehement tongues.
It was only a matter of time before the tension proceeded to boil beyond the edges.
One day at school, Jordan was behind on a school project, and chose to skip her next class to complete it.
It was the first and only time her father would physically abuse her.
Out of despair, Jordan confided in a guidance counsellor at her school in Kincardine, Ontario, and was immediately placed in a woman’s shelter. She remained there for two weeks until her aunt took her to live with her in London, Ontario.
After a few months of peaceful domesticity, Jordan moved to St. Catharines, Ontario, to reside with her parents (who had recently moved back after having originally lived here). But the tension of past strife continued to mount, and she was soon kicked out after her inability to pay her parents rent money.
Left with nowhere to go, Jordan moved to the YWCA, and was finally rewarded with the inspirational support she had been seeking her entire life.
Amidst the turmoil of the times, Jordan graduated high school.
She applied and was accepted to Centennial College for Art and Design, and it appeared her life was finally set upon a definitive course of action. But regrettably, Jordan dropped out soon after a number of personal issues (one of which was the passing of her grandfather) caused her to lose her focus.
It wasn’t long before she began finding solace in alcohol.
As a result, her behaviour grew increasingly unhinged, and eventually she was embracing life with reckless abandon. She was drinking heavily every day, was in and out of transitional housing projects, and was even apprehended for shoplifting.
Her life’s vision was becoming blurrier by the moment.
She met with an addictions counsellor, and was soon on the road to recovery. She was accepted to Mohawk College for Photography, but encountered further personal struggles which ultimately reignited her fling with alcohol dependency.
She dropped out after one semester.
It took her approximately one year to realize she once again needed support, so Jordan reached out to the Community Addictions Services of Niagara (CASON) for guidance.
It took time but her life regained traction, and for a third time, Jordan reenlisted in school.
This time determined to succeed.
In October 2013, Jordan did just that by graduating from Trillium College with a certificate for Community Service Worker.
“There were times I gave up on myself…never giving myself enough credit. But I never lost that dream of earning an education. The support I received from others reminded me that that I wasn’t alone. The key now is to simply take one day at a time, and see where it all leads”.
Quinn and Keenan Baker
It would be a simple solution for Quinn and Keenan Baker to bear hostility towards this world.
To allow their personal tragedies direct them down a path emanating with animosity and bitterness.
But then again, seventeen year-old Quinn and fifteen year-old Keenan have never allowed their circumstances to become their crutch.
“It’s all about the choices you make in life. You make your own road by walking it”, says Quinn.
Quinn was seven and Keenan was four when their mother passed away from breast cancer in 2003 at the age of thirty-four. Just over four years later, their father died from lung cancer at the age of forty.
Orphaned prior to their teenage years, the boys moved from Wilson, New York to St. Catharines to live with their grandparents in the summer of 2007.
Assuming the role of guardians, their grandparents did what they could to make the transition as seamless as possible. But without the benefit of knowing many in the Niagara Region, Quinn and Keenan were basically forced into re-starting their lives from scratch.
Understanding their need for companionship at such a crucial time, their friends from Wilson did what they could to support them, from performing fundraisers for the family to the donation of money.
“If it wasn’t for the kindness of our friends and family, it would have definitely been a lot more difficult to persevere during this time period” says Keenan. “We were humbled and honoured by their selfless generosity”.
Consequently, these philanthropic endeavours appear to have had a profound influence on their own lives.
As of now, Quinn and Keenan have donated their time to numerous charitable institutions such as the Rankin Cancer Run, the Walk a Mile in HER Shoes campaign for Gillian’s Place, numerous car wash fundraisers, and the collection of non-perishable food items for Community Care.
In a world consumed with self-gratification, it’s always sobering to be reminded about the importance of giving back.
“We were raised to be polite and to help others in need”, says Keenan. “Simple acts of caring are important to us, so we’re constantly asking ourselves, ‘what can we do to help’?”
Their benevolence was recognized earlier this year when Mike’s Miracles announced the brothers as co-winners of the Mike Vandendool Hero Award. An honour awarded to humanitarians readily active within their community.
Though they were humbled by the acclaim, they don’t necessarily desire the attention.
“We don’t advertise it”, says Quinn. “We’re just happy volunteering our time. We prefer telling our story through our actions rather than our words”.
Apart from their charitable contributions, both brothers have become enamoured with the arts, a field their parents passionately embraced.
Quinn is heavily involved with music (and tries to incorporate it into his acts of charity whenever possible) while Keenan is driven by visual arts, possibly inspired by his mother’s art book growing up.
In fact, as a career, Quinn is working towards becoming a music teacher while Keenan has aspirations of becoming a concept artist for video games (his second option is to become an Oncologist-a specialist in cancer treatment).
But for now, their plan is to continue helping those in need.
“The most important thing we’ve realized is to have love for yourself and others” says Quinn. “We truly believe that any little act of generosity can help make this world a better place”.
***This Feature Article appeared in the Winter (2013) edition of Niagara Magazine.
In grade 9, no band captivated my fuzzed-out imagination quite like Green Day. 1994’s Dookie and 1995’s Insomniac were interconnected like the best of friends, bristling with electrifying sonic compositions and thematically-focused notions of self-destructive teen angst. To this day, both albums continue to resonate fondly within my soul, as most albums do when one “comes of age” during their teenage years.
But one tends to grow weary of the vanilla flavourings of familiarity. With music, a musician’s relevance tends to rely heavily on that musician’s willingness to alternate styles and texts throughout the duration of their career. Performers like U2, Madonna, David Bowie, The Beatles, and The Rolling Stones (the list does continue) have had continued success over the years because of their ability to experiment and adapt to alternative modes of musicianship.
The same can be said for Green Day.
Though, as much as I’m inclined to loathe the “new and improved” Green Day (a Green Day concerned with the nature of politics, daring to write a song lasting over the pop-punk maximum of three minutes), I can’t fault them for their decision to do so.
During the mid 90s, alternative music seized control of the music scene, and all but guaranteed that any notion of music (no matter how experimentally obtuse) would find acceptance somewhere. But by the late 90s (and in regards to the Pop-Punk scene), society grew tired of bands like Green Day, The Offspring, and Rancid because their sound was frozen within the confines of a musical movement.
Arguably, Pop-Punk garnered worldwide recognition as a result of Green Day’s Dookie, which included hit tracks like Longview, Basket Case and When I Come Around. But musical movements have expiration dates, and tend to eventually wear out their welcome, thanks in large part to the exploitive nature of record labels.
Thus, by the end of the 90s, alternative rock began to reek of banality. Green Day’s musical niche was no longer captivating the eardrums of music fans now focused on boy bands (Backstreet Boys, N Sync) and Nu Metal (Korn, Limp Bizkit)*.
So Green Day went back to the drawing board, and made the decision to reinvent themselves with a new focus and drive dedicated to issues that were far more important than the selfish ideologies of a teenager. The days of mom and dad not understanding me were gone, substituted by social and national issues.
Republican politics became the subject of Green Day’s ire on the 2004 concept album American Idiot.
This transformation exposed Green Day to an entirely new fan base, but tended to ostracize many of the supporters that grew up listening to their 3-chord in-your-face sonic explosions. 21st century Green Day were now about issues affecting the world as a whole, and it was vividly displayed in their three minute-plus tracks. The songs no longer had that sense of urgency that helped to fuel their mid 90s success. Rather, these songs were the epitome of a mainstream rock n’ roll cliché**.
Now, here comes the contradiction. This “new and improved” Green Day does not satisfy me the way they once did. BUT, if they hadn’t altered their sonic styles, wouldn’t I be complaining about their need to grow up and create a new sound?
I make these complaints about Blink 182 all the time.
So here’s what it comes down to…I don’t like that Green Day changed, but I would be angry if they hadn’t changed.
So where is the solution to my problem?
The way I look at it is very simple. During my “coming of age” in grade 9, those two Green Day albums became examples of how important personal soundtracks would be on my journey towards personal growth. If American Idiot had been released when I was in grade 9, I’m almost positive that I would be looking back on that album as a soundtrack to my life, and viewing their current musical output as disappointingly lacklustre.
I truly believe that the music existent during your transformative years will always remain relevant within the deepest depths of your heart. The music of the 90s will continue to resonate with me (no matter how awful some of it may be) because it was present during those “awkward” years.
That’s why I tend to despise most modern-day music because it’s ‘just not the same’. I’m sure 80s kids fret over the same issues concerning the music of the 90s.
The cycle continues from there.
I have tremendous faith in my belief that the music from here on out in my life will never match the emotional connection I have with the music of the 90s.
Call me closed-minded.
But that’s not to say that modern music doesn’t have its moments… It just doesn’t have that compelling allure like music once did.
*Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins originally disbanded the band because they could no longer compete in a “Backstreet Boy” world.
**There is nothing necessarily wrong with the American Idiot or 2009’s 21st Century Breakdown material, but for me personally, there is no emotional connection to the material.